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Full Story:

Hey there, folks! It’s great to be here tonight. You know what’s not great? First dates. Anyone else here been on a first date that was an absolute disaster?

I remember this one time, I went out with this guy who seemed great on paper. He was charming, good-looking, and had a job that sounded impressive. We met up at a trendy restaurant, and everything was going well until the food arrived.

I ordered a salad because I was trying to be healthy, but when it came, I realized it had anchovies in it. Now, I’m not a picky eater, but I can’t stand the taste of anchovies. So, I tried to discreetly pick them out of my salad and put them on the side of my plate.

Well, my date noticed what I was doing and started laughing. “What’s wrong with anchovies?” he asked. “Are you one of those people who only eats chicken nuggets?”

I tried to explain that I just didn’t like the taste, but he wouldn’t let it go. He kept making fun of me for being a “picky eater” and even called the waiter over to tell him that I didn’t like the anchovies. It was so embarrassing!

But that wasn’t even the worst part. When the bill came, my date realized he had forgotten his wallet. I offered to pay my half, but he insisted on paying for everything and promised to Venmo me later.

Well, guess what? I never got that Venmo. I even sent him a reminder, but he never responded. So, not only did I have a terrible first date, but I also ended up paying for it in more ways than one.

Lesson learned, folks. Always carry cash on a first date, and make sure your date isn’t a jerk before you order your meal.

I’ll See Y’all Tomorrow!

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