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Y’all, Let’s talk about dating, shall we? Or, as I like to call it, “swiping left on life.”
Dating these days is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the haystack is full of narcissists and commitment-phobes. You know what they say, “Plenty of fish in the sea,” but how many of them are actually worth catching?
I’ve been on a few dates recently, and let me tell you, they’ve been… interesting. One guy asked me what my five-year plan was, and I was like, “Uh, not to be on a date with you in five years?” Another guy thought it would be romantic to take me to a petting zoo. Yeah, because nothing says “I love you,” like getting attacked by a goat.
But the worst part about dating is the ghosting. You think you’ve found someone great, you have a few amazing dates, and then poof! They disappear into the ether like a fart in the wind. And you’re left wondering, “What did I do wrong? Was it my jokes? My hair? My crippling fear of commitment?”
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of playing these dating games. It’s time to level up and find someone who’s on the same page as me. Or, you know, just get a cat and call it a day. At least a cat won’t cancel plans last minute or leave you on read for days on end.
Thanks, folks, you’ve been great! Don’t forget to tip your waitstaff, and if anyone knows any single, emotionally stable men who are into puns and Marvel movies, send them my way! And I’ll see y’all tomorrow!
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