Alcohol Shotgun. Have you ever been partying and thought to yourself that you just couldn’t drink alcohol fast enough? Maybe if there was a way to get the alcohol to your mouth faster so you could get drunk faster?
No? Was that just me? Ah well. Maybe I shouldn’t have kidnapped…er…hired those scientists.
Look, the truth is that after breaking them out of jail where they were serving time for pickle related offenses, the scientists were just a bit too happy. Okay they were a lot too happy but that’s just between you and me.
So anyway we were driving back to the secret lair that one of the scientists built 10 years ago and we passed this bar called The Drunken Telescope. One of the scientists demanded that we pull in so he could pick up something the bartender borrowed from him a few months ago.
I should have known that something was up when he came running out of the bar yelling at me to start the engine. But I ain’t gonna stick around when the bartender is trying to shoot me with a ray gun. Heck no!
So after a few narrow misses and a new pair of pants, we finally make it to the lair. Then the scientist who went into the bar turns to me and hands me this thing as payment for helping him escape prison.
He muttered something about aerosolizing the alcohol before it gets drunk is the secret to getting wasted faster before he followed his comrades down a manhole near 45th street. I don’t know, I think he’s crazy but I’m kinda scared to see what he comes up with next.