Dead Fred. Do you ever wish you could experience the satisfaction of stabbing that annoying coworker who won’t shut up about how perfect her life is with her perfect kids, perfect husband, and just got back from that perfect vacation?
That pen you’re doodling with instead of paying attention in that meeting is looking mighty tempting isn’t it? Now you too can experience the joy of stabbing someone without ending up in prison!
With Dead Fred you can get all the satisfaction of stabbing something to death and none of the jail time! And let’s be honest, murder being illegal is the only thing keeping some people alive.
Well now you can avoid a stay at the gray bar hotel with Dead Fred.
Simply take some time out of your day and experience the satisfaction and release of stabbing someone to death by jamming a pen into Dead Fred. For best results we recommend really twisting it in there!
Don’t be shy, just drive it home with vigor! Screaming while rekilling dead fred helps relieve even more stress!
Now we do have to warn you, it’s probably best if you wait until after that annoying coworker has left your office before de-stressing with Dead Fred. But if you do want them to leave you alone, pulling out Dead Fred and staring them in the eyes while committing brutal homicide…er..relaxing is very effective.
Results may vary. We are not responsible for being called into HR and asked to attend counseling for anger issues. Murder responsibly. Dead Fred is fun for all.